YOU REMIND ME OF MY JEEP

(written September 13, 2007)

Jason Flowers is a very smart man. Intelligent, educated, witty, charming- doesn’t apply himself to shit- but brilliant none the less. Some girl in the 90s reminded R. Kelly of his Jeep. Not too long ago, Jason called me a classic car.
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I’m a Detroiter (Motor City)… so I was flattered… but I don’t think he realized how fucking profound this really was. It made me think. I love to think.

You can go to, hmmmm, lets say Miami (no pun intended), and you’ll see all the “Ol Schools” (as us Detroiters like to call them) you want. Problem is, alot of people love to fuck them up with glitter paint, big ass unnecessary tires, and feel like they are really not shit til its so much speaker equiptment in the trunk that you cant hear the voices in your head telling you that you have fucked up something that could have been forever. Now there is nothing wrong with a lil touch up paint, or some new tires but these are the beautiful girls that have brainwashed/plasticsurgery/lacefrontweaved/contacted/MACcountered/fakenailed/indianhaired themselves up into trying to be what they think niggas want when they were really the shit before… and didnt even know it.

…the niggas that ARE smart enough to not fuck their classics up with paint that looks like ghetto nailpolish from the ’90s, lock them up in their garages to collect dust while they run lights in their 760s. Don’t get me wrong, the BMW 760 is a beautiful car but there are THOUSANDS of those on the streets but when you neglect your classic, your REAL shit, that will still be around when your lease is up, when BMW makes a 765, if your money get bad and your life has to downgrade… don’t expect the engine to still run. It wants to because it will always love you, but it can’t…
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get it?


Lord forbid you get into an accident in one of these beautiful, shiny, expensive pieces of shit. Kill yourself… LITERALLY.

What happens when the body style on the new models change? You are around this bitch looking old as hell. Not classic, old. Then you are at the car show looking for an upgrade… and oh what do you see? All next years models… and classics…

So Ol Schools are gas guzzlers-
You have to order all the parts-
Theres WAY more maintaince on a classic-

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But in the end you have a REAL car, not this plastic fake ass bullshit that loses its value the day you take it off the lot… and believe, when you get in your well maintained ’73 Caprice with the original paint aka real hair, the original bumper aka real titties, real niggas will take notice. REAL niggas, cause niggas that dont know no better will turn their heads for every fast, shiny, red car that does 90 down the street, whether its a 1 million dollar Ferrari Enzo or a Hyundai Tiburon at $19,000 (as fully loaded as a Hyundai can come :)

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“I could give a damn ’bout your car but then that would be
if it was considered a classic before the drastic change in production when cars were metal instead of plastic value…” Andre 3000 on Walk It Out Remix

So while I might not be a $1.7 million Bugatti Veyron (the fastest, most expensive & powerful car in the world) like Beyonce,
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I’m esoteric (look it up), not everyone might think I’m beautiful, and my interior might be old, I’m strong and I’m a fucking original bitches! I hold my own without tint, rims, sounds, seat warmers or any that other bullshit “assistance” that most of that most of these “new” cars need to even be considered fly. Give me what I came with and not only will I turn heads, I’ll get to where the fuck I need to be… believe that.

So you think you might be a classic car too? Chances are, you’re not… Kanye said it best in “Stronger”… “There’s a thousand yous, there is only one of me…” 

 ”They don’t really make em like this anymore. I ask cause I’m that sure, does anybody make real shit anymore?”

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8 comments to YOU REMIND ME OF MY JEEP

  • CRISTAL…I agree, classic cars are better made(out of tin) than most, if not all, of todays models, which are probably made out of aluminum or other easily bendable metals LOL. This is one of my fav. cars…1969 Dodge Hemi Charger: http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/543/dhcu.jpg/ From the movie 2 Fast 2 Furious. PLEASE STAY the “classic” that you are buddy. PEACE!!!

  • CRISTAL…This is the reason that I originally stopped by here today: http://www.iheart.com/#/artist/Michael-Jackson-6739/songs/ I saw it & couldn’t help but think about YOU. LOL. PEACE!!!

  • Cristal, this is the first time I’m logging onto your blog. I was Twitter trolling (I do that sometimes) and game across your page for no good reason. You wrote gilt sentences and your ass was witty as hell so I said I’ll give her (blog) a look. So not disappointed. Thanks for writing English and not showing your nipples to get views you classic chic!

    Looking forward to reading more and sharing your work!

  • score-p-o

    I came to just to comment on how wonderful it was for you to donate your hair, that was a very generous thing, a selfless act. The world needs more people who are willing to do for others as you have on multiple occasions. Keep up the good work!

    I ended up leaving this comment in this blog post because I try to tell females (of all ages) that there is nothing wrong with a little enhancement but, to be themselves – there is no need to be plastic.

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