I’ve walked, volunteered, & fundraised for breast cancer for years & never really has a story… Until this year… I lost my husband to breast cancer. No need to RIP, because he never died. Shit he never proposed. Let me explain.

I’m the girl that never imagined herself married… Who couldn’t fathom a man I’d consider spending my life with and let alone him feeling the same… until I met him… on a whim on a random Tuesday in November of 2010. He was everything I’d ever imagined & best of all, he felt the same about me. He made me feel like greatness. Like potential. Like everything I hadn’t accomplished was attainable & everything I had was success.

And then his mom got diagnosed… and her disease was our divorce. All in all, I learned a very important lesson: You don’t have to be infected to be affected.

So this year, on October 29, 2011 I will walk in remembrance of the way he made me feel, for a cure for the disease that destroyed our potential, & for his mom & all of the strong women & men that have survived what I hope no one else will have to endure the pain of losing anyone or anything else to.

Fuck cancer. Join me in the fight.


26 comments to MY LOST…

  • Cristal,

    I find myself deeply moved by you candor and openness. Throughout your career I have admittedly admired your beauty as well as your antics and up in til now all I was exposed to was an attractive woman doing some wild s@#t. Now I able to catch a glimpse of who you really are, and not that my opinions matter…but I like the view and I would enjoy seeing more. I hope you recapture the pleasure you lost. I use the word pleasure and not joy because as I’m sure you know, nothing should be allowed reign over your joy. With the exception of God and well that’s it. I respect your desire to commemorate the love you lost. I also wish you infinite joy, immovable peace, and much deserved happiness where ever you rest your gaze… Finally, just so that you know I’m truly listening and paying attention I’ll end my note with you customary salutation… Peace, love, and Glitter Gloves… Long Live The King…

  • That is a great saying. Did you make it up? “You don’t have to be infected to be affected.” With all the new information on fighting breast cancer, I think that it will be beat. Research shows that drinking green tea will reduce chances of getting cancer and getting Alzheimer’s disease. It helps people to lose excess weight as a side effect. The thanine in it counterats the effects of the caffeine in it.

    Also exercise reduces chances of getting it and so does losing excess bodyfat. Although vitamin D is still the most powerful anticancer agent. Dr Oz has a video about it. Also Christiane Northrup MD has best selling books on women’s health. She has a webpage about vitamin D preventing breast cancer on the Oprah Winfrey website.

  • I’m SORRY the loss of the one that you cared so deeply about, & who felt the same way about you. Maybe my words will help you buddy:


    Loss is a terrible thing,
    I’ve lost family members & friends,
    Using words my emotions I’ll release,
    In hope of achieving some inner peace.

    I lost a family member today,
    Of the canine persuasion,
    In years she’d only been with us five,
    But for now I feel a little less alive.

    I’ve lost lifelong friends,
    Which is also hard on my heart,
    And hard for my mind to grasp,
    As I think of the time I saw or talked to them last.

    Today I lost my baby,
    She went to her Heavenly home,
    Loss is a terrible thing,
    But from my heart her spot will never be gone.

    Nov. 3, 2007

    I wrote it the day that Roxi died. Although Roxi was a dog(Rottweiler), I think the these words apply to the feeling of loss in general. PEACE!!!

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