(written October 27, 2007)
I lived 23 years on God’s green Earth as plain ole Cristal. No nickname. No frills… until one day I got casted on a little unknown reality show called Flavor of Love and this washed up rapper called me “Serious” amongst the fruits and otherwise rude and degrading nicknames he gave my showmates.
In this crazy industry, I laugh at the names that many these “entertainers” call themseleves. Honestly, models, calling yourself any kind of barbie, black or otherwise is WACK. The two first name thing is WACK… only drag queens have names like “Cristal Adrianna”… so if you don’t have a penis AND breast implants, you really need to kill yourself for that shit. The only “entertainers” that are second to “models” naming themselves dumb shit (don’t yall love my quotation marks when I use the word loosely??? LOL) are “rappers”. I can’t even BEGIN to tell you how corny you are… really.
Now there is nothing wrong with a nickname, but there is SO much in a name. It DEFINES who you are. What you call yourself AND/OR your company or business… even on your MYSPACE page means soooo much.
For instance, when Tyra Banks first started America’s Next Top Model, the company she operated under was “Ty-Ty Baby”… sounds like a joke, right? Thats because it was. No one, including Ms. Banks expected a low budget reality show to turn into the multi-million dollar, rating phenomenon it is today. By the second season of the show, she changed the name of her company to “Bankable Productions”… which we can all agree sounds a little more… hmmmm… BANKable…
Second thing is, “entertainers” have these nicknames, and alternate personalities to go with them. Beyonce says that in real life she is shy so when she is on stage she is ‘Sasha’, Ludacris is a wild ass rapper but Christopher Bridges is a father, activist, and Oscar nominated actor… this seems to work so I am all for it, but what happens when you begin to love your alternate personality and not yourself? So many of us love the imaginary people we have created in our heads but cant look in the mirror at the muthafucka that wipes the ass of the body that the ficticious muthafucka lives in. So many of us fall in love with peoples alternative personalities and cant deal with the real deal. So many of us are loved by the real personality of people and disregarded by the alternate nigga which would be fine if so many people didnt operate most of their lives as the person they have decided to be instead of the person they are.
“Who do you love… ME… or the THOUGHT of me?” ~John Mayer “Trust Myself”
All in all, we have got to learn to love ourselves, the person that came out of our mother’s crotches on our birthday. Until then, our alter egos and the alter egos of other muthafuckas are going to eat us alive. You were made you for a reason, and believe it or not, that person is good enough, or at least will be when you start believing in them.