all i ReaLly need is a little bit…

Today I googled myself.

When I was on TV & actively modeling I did it regularly but since I’ve been laying pretty low I really figured most had stopped caring about details of my life… I apparently, was wrong.

If you follow me on Twitter in a day you probably know where I am, what songs I listened to, what I ate, who I am with, what I had on, what kind of day I had, who got on my nerves & more. Apparently there is someone out there that thinks there is more to my story… some sort of “tea” or dirt thats not being exposed and to be completely honest… theres not very much. I pride myself on being transparent. I never try to make my life more glamourous than it is. Theres no rich sugar daddy I’m hiding, no disgruntled ex-friends, no crazy secret former life. I was never gay, on drugs, no kids up for adoption, and my body has never been for purchase. I have, however, been on 2 reality shows, had a pool party in my living room, been in love & drank enough Patron to intoxicate all of China. Is that not enough? Is it hard to believe that I’ve lived pretty scandal free? Have we really became so dishonest and over glamorized that nothing is as it appears? When did face value lose its value? Why does it ALWAYS have to be more to the story? Have we really lost faith in humanity?

The online chat that I found went on with people making comments. Reviews of my skincare tips video & opinions of me… & to my surprise— there wasn’t a negative thing about me there. Then I questioned MY surprise. Have I lost faith as well?

I’ve wondered what people will say about me at my funeral- a room full of my loved ones that believe in respecting the dead, but it is interesting— and flattering to know that someone who could have taken the internet gangster route has positive things to say. Maybe I’ve been doing the right thing… OR that none of the people that dislike me have the internet… either way, with a stroke of the keyboard, my faith is restored. Sometimes it doesn’t take much… a mouthful, a dab, a wink, a pinch, a text message, an inch, a dollar, a second…

just a little bit.

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2 comments to all i ReaLly need is a little bit…

  • I must say I absolutely loved this post. People always say they don’t care what people think of them or have to say, but it is a bit disturbing when no one has anything to say. This makes me re-evaluate a little. Thanks Cristal.

  • I agree with you about people thinking that there’s more to a story than there really is, I get tired of that too. I wish that people would jus’ take what a person says for what it is. People who think that you’re always hiding a part of the story are going to drive themselves crazy thinking too much in my opinion. PEACE!!!

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